Adventures in Motherhood: Choosing the Lesson

Caleb is now old enough to play with toys. Like really play with them, and pick which toy he wants to play with. And decide he wants specific toys more than others. This milestone has come much to the dismay of his big sister.

Previous to this Rebekah could 'trade toys' with him if she wanted what he was playing with, and he didn't mind as long as he was holding something.

Not so any more.

He wants what he wants, and if she has it, he wants it.

And if he has it and she wants it, and she tries to take it from him, he lets me know.

LOUDLY.

This is particularly true when it comes to the one toy they have booth decided is their favorite toy - our play stethoscope from Rebekah's doctor kit. Rebekah LOVES playing doctor (thank you Doc McStuffins) and is constantly giving her toys check-ups.

 For whatever reason, Caleb has developed an attachment to the stethoscope. He is so happy when he gets to play with it. Look at how proud he is here!

And if he sees that she has it, he crawls after her, trying to get it, and whimpering like an injured puppy. She is still quite a bit faster than him, but he is gaining speed and mobility with each passing day.

Yesterday, after a tear filled battle for the stethoscope, which ended in mommy putting the doctor kit away for a rest, Rebekah informed me that she would like to use her piggy bank money to buy her own "purple stethoscope just for her, not for Caleb". I have been going back and forth which lesson she should learn from this situation. On the one hand, I want her to learn to share with her brother. But on the other hand she could learn a lesson in money. Most of the money in her piggy bank has come from her using the potty chair at her great-grandparents house. So, it's money she has earned, and can use for things she would like...Maybe we could just go back to the time when Caleb would lay still for his check-up like this picture from a few months ago!

                                

 But that's not how it works. I guess I have to choose which lesson we are going to learn this time....

Adventures in Motherhood: Everything Does NOT Depend On Me

Guess what? I am not perfect. (I know, big surprise, right?!) Never have been, never will be. I wasn't perfect before I was a mom. And I'm not perfect now that I am a mom. But here is a secret - a deep dark secret that I don't usually tell anyone. I wish I was a perfect mom. For the 15 months that I have been a mom, I have tried every day (for at least a little bit of the day) to be a perfect mom. I want what is best for my sweet girl, so I read and I research and I try to do everything right for her.... But try as I might, everyday I fall short of being the perfect mom. Because I'm not perfect. No human is and I know that. But it was still frustrating to me that I couldn't be a perfect mom. 

I say "was" because God has been working in my 'type A' heart and mind on this topic of perfection. You may remember that I am a part of a book launch team and got to read an advanced copy. The book is available for purchase now. It's called Hoodwinked and it is for each and every mother out there. Really, it is. Go order it - you will be so glad you did. I promise there is at least one chapter in the book that you need to read. 

But back to what God has been teaching me. One of the chapters in Hoodwinked I read several times over because it was just what I needed to hear. It was the chapter titled "Myth: Everything Depends on Me". You see, I believed this myth. Some days I still do. I thought I had to do everything perfect for Rebekah. I thought that if I didn't do everything perfectly for her, that she wouldn't grow up right. I believed that how she turned out as a person all depended on me. And it was exhausting - trying to always do everything perfectly. And trying to do everything myself (because you know that if anyone else did it, they would just mess it up! I know, I'm a little crazy! God is working on me...) And then I read 2 different snips in the book, and my life as a want-to-be-perfect-mom changed forever. Are you ready - here are the 2 thoughts....

Everything does NOT depend on me! If I look to myself, I will be discouraged and dismayed. But if I look to God, I will receive the strength and encouragement I need to parent my kids to His glory. p. 124 Hoodwinked. 

AND

Because if I were a perfect mom-knew all the answers, never steered them wrong, could meet their every emotional, spiritual, and physical need-it would bring about a terrible awful result. My children would have no need for God. p.126 Hoodwinked

When I read these words, it was like a weight was taken off of my shoulders. The only one who is perfect in my life is Jesus. And the only one who is perfect in Rebekah's life is Jesus. I have been looking to myself to provide everything for her, and becoming discouraged. I need to be looking to God as our provider - for everything. It was such an encouragement to read these truths and be set free from the myth that I needed to be Rebekah's perfect everything mom. God has it under control - He knows every detail of her life and mine too! And yours too!! 

Do you believe any mothering myths? (I said in a previous post that I didn't think that I did - but I did!)

You can order your copy of Hoodwinked on Amazon or on Proverbs 31 Ministry website right now!

(I was provided this book for free in exchange for my participation in the launch team activities, but all of the opinions about the book are my own true thoughts.) 

Adventures in Motherhood: Little Helping Hands and Spiders

Rebekah's newest thing is handing things to me. She does it all the time. Books, balls, and dolls. Sticks, dirt, and leaves. Anything she picks up, she wants to put it in my hand. This is especially true when she gets her little fingers wrapped around something she knows she is not supposed to have. I know this is happening because I hear her little mischievous giggle and then her little feet running towards me as she holds out her fist with a look in her eyes that says "Look what I have for you, Momma!".

This morning, we were finishing up breakfast and watching the morning news on the couch in the living room, and Rebekah was handing things to me. A book. A scarp of paper she found on the floor. A book. A finger puppet in the shape of a lion from her quiet book.A book. And then she came walking up to me with her fist closed tight around something that I could not see. I asked her what she had in her little hand, she giggled, and I held out my hand for her to give it to me...and she dropped into my open hand....a slightly squished, still kind of alive, SPIDER!!

I may have yelled a little. Maybe it was more like a scream. Even typing this now, I still feel like I need to shake the spider off of my hand and its been a few hours since I was holding it. (blahhhh! yuck! spider in my hand, spider in my hand, spider in my hand!!!) But Rebekah was so proud of that little treasure she had captured found for me.

What a silly girl!

Adventures in Motherhood: I Couldn't Live Without

Often I find myself wondering,
"what did I do before _____?"
or
"I am so thankful for _________, I don't know what I would do without it!"

The most recent item that I have found myself thinking this about is a necklace. 

Well, it's a necklace and it's a teething toy for Rebekah. 
If you are a mom, you know that once your sweet baby reaches a certain age, necklaces and earrings become a thing of the past. Because shiny, fancy, pretty things are just calling out to babies "grab me and put me in your mouth". 

There are several places that I have seen that sell necklaces like this - mine is from Chewbeads (this is not a sponsored post - just wanted to share the fashionable teething love!) 

Rebekah LOVES to chew on it. I think it's adorable. It's easy to clean (as in you can put it in the dishwasher). Now that I have one, I don't think I could live without it! 
(AND I'm trying to decide what color/style I want to ask for for my birthday!)

I'm joining new link party this week organized by:

Adventures in Motherhood: Learning Every Day

Before we had Rebekah, I knew that babies learned new things everyday...but what I did not know was that mommies learn new things everyday too!

There are so many things I have been discovering these past months. About being a mom. About myself. About what is important and what is not really important...

Eating food while it is hot is not that important... Same with eating ice cream while its frozen. Some days it feels like every time I am about to eat or drink Rebekah needs to eat or sleep or be changed. Last week I warmed up a mug of apple cider 4 times before I finally got to drink it. Daniel has been a huge help by wrapping up my dinner so it stays warm or putting my bowl of ice cream back in the freezer so it doesn't get soupy...I HATE soupy ice cream. He loves soupy ice cream ... when he was growing up his Grandma would put his ice cream in the microwave for a few seconds for him to make it soupy. 

Ok, where was I....Oh, yes. Things I have been learning! 

Did you know babies can tell when you are standing and when you are sitting when you hold them... Even when they are asleep?!...Well, I learned that lesson in motherhood right off the bat. I have learned that Rebekah prefers standing. Seriously, if bouncing/swaying a baby while standing was an Olympic event, I would win the gold medal. 

I have learned that there is nothing quite like the feeling of holding your child ... and having your hand on their diapered bottom at just the right moment to feel gas or something else come shooting out of them. Wow, I already have lots of stories about Rebekah that are about poop...but I will save those for another day. 

I did not know that my emotions would be so tied to this little girl. Her first laugh made me cry. Watching her excitement as she explores the world around her fills me with such joy. If she is grouchy...I try not to be grouchy but it doesn't always work. And when she is in pain, my heart literally hurts. It's the worst when she is in pain. Thankfully that has only happened a hand full of times in the past few months. 

Yesterday Rebekah learned to roll from her back to her tummy. It was VERY exciting!

I wonder what we will learn today? 

(no post is complete without a cute Rebekah picture, right?!

 This one is from a Christmas card photo shoot with her Auntie Wen)

Adventures in Motherhood: Love Is Patient

One thing that always amazes me about the Bible is that I can read a verse that I have read hundreds of times before and have God speak a totally new message to my heart. 

Since becoming a mother, this has been happening a lot to me. And not just on verses with stories or analogies about children and parents. Often it's verses about love. Most recently it has been 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient ... Those 3 little words have a totally new meaning to me now. For much of my life I feel like I've been learning the lesson of patience in one way or another. 

Learning patience while waiting to find out if I got into the college I wanted to attend. 
Love is patient. 
Learning patience while waiting for God to show me the man He had for me to marry. 
Love is patient. 
Learning patience while trying to start our family. 
Love is patient. 
Surely I would have, should have, learned the lesson of patience by now...right? When I'm up at 2 a.m., and have been rocking Rebekah for over an hour, praying that this time when I lay her in her bed that she would stay asleep ... Love is patient. 

Because I love her so very much, I (*try to*) remain patient. Soothing her, rocking her, helping her learn when it is time to sleep and when it is time to be awake. Starting the process over for the 6th time when her little eyes fly open as soon as her head touches her bed...Some days I know that it is only God's love in me that is keeping me from screaming into a pillow out of frustration and exhaustion.
(deep breath)
Love is patient. 
Being patient with Rebekah is a way that I can show her my love for her. How much greater is God's love for me that He is continually patient with me...when I don't bring my concerns and worries to Him first, when I try to do something without His help, He is patient with me. 
Love is patient. 

Adventures in Motherhood: Nap Time

I'm laying in bed as I type this...typing with one thumb. Why just one thumb ? Because my left arm is the being held hostage by a sleeping baby. Before Rebekah I thought nap time would be when I got things done around the house... But not today. Or yesterday... Or all last week. You see, Rebekah has been going through a phase of not wanting to sleep during the day. (Thankfully once she falls asleep at night she has been sleeping pretty well.) 

I feed her. I rock her. She is totally asleep. I put her down. Slowly back out of the room and about 3 minutes later... She is awake. Not just awake. "I took a nap and am ready to play" awake. We try again with the rocking but with the same results...

So today there is a new plan in motion. Just get her to sleep.  More than 20 min at a time. Because, you see, on days when she doesn't sleep more than 20 min at a time during the day - the afternoons and evenings are a grouch-fest. Nothing makes her happy. Fussy is the name of the game. 

Everyday I learn more about what it means to be a mom...

Mom lesson I learned today:

Yes, I have other things I could be doing right now. We are having guests over tonight - I could be cleaning. I should probably be cleaning. But I'm not. I'm snuggling my sweet girl because that is what she needs me to do right now. I'm working on letting my plans go and enjoying each stage of Rebekah's life. Being there when she needs me. And I know someday I will wish she wanted to snuggle with me and take a snooze. So I'm taking full advantage of this snuggle bug's nap time today. 

Hopefully our guests tonight will understand that baby snuggles are more important to me than a clean kitchen. 

Any tips on babies and sleep? :-)